It’s easy to get down doing the same job day in and day out that requires the skill of maybe a 6th grader. It is humbling to say the least. However, as many older and wiser loved ones have told me, “Every circumstance has a purpose. You never know what you will learn and how the Lord is going to use that experience to grow you, challenge you, etc.” So I am trying to stay positive. I have realized that they are right. Through this seemingly humdrum job I have acquired a specialized set of skills that I just know will come in handy in the future.
Skill #1: Sorting Paperclips
You would be surprised how much skill is involved in separating the big paperclips from the small ones. (Now you may be thinking, “Why must one sort paperclips? Don’t they come in individual boxes according to size?” Yes, indeed they do. The paperclips I am referring to are the ones that are recycled from already existing documents and thrown into a big pile. Make sense?) The sorting of said paperclips involves a keen level of hand-eye coordination. The eye must sharply detect the difference in size of each paperclip. This is not an easy task when a sea of tiny, metallic objects lies before you. As the eye becomes aware of the minor dissimilarity, the fingers must move quickly and deftly to separate the sea into two piles. This parting of the Metallic Sea requires the utmost concentration, and spider-like reflexes. One would not want to be responsible for a single paperclip being banished to the wrong side for all of paperclip eternity. It is a heavy burden but one I accept with alacrity.
Skill #2: The Alphabet
I would venture to say that most children who are born and raised in the United States have learned The Alphabet Song by the time they are ready to start school. I am proud to say that thanks to Sesame Street I am among this elite group of citizens. Now this is all well and good but is this the most efficient way to teach children (who are to become educated, responsible adults) this established, phonetic code? I admit I adhered to this school of thought until I began my office career. Allow me to explain myself. Filing is all about the alphabet. One must be well versed in the alphabetic code to accomplish this task. I quickly realized that I was not as adept in the alphabet as I once boasted. I would come upon a word such as “Lucifer” and it would take me a few seconds of singing the song (in my head of course) to remember the letters that preceded and followed the letter “L” so that I could find the corresponding cabinet. I stood completely befuddled. The academic foundation of my childhood was shattered. Without The Alphabet Song, the phonetic code was useless to me. After this staggering realization, I was determined to memorize the alphabet without the song as a crutch. I still have not quite mastered this skill but I have definitely improved and am making a concerted effort to continue to do so.
Skill #3: Braving Ricoh
Allow me to introduce you to Ricoh (pronounced Ree-co). Ricoh is our beloved copy machine. He is invaluable to the work that we do here at the office. We share a very special relationship. I do a lot of work with Ricoh and so we have gotten to know each other pretty well. Unfortunately if I am not careful he can turn on me in an instant. He starts beeping incessantly, flashing tiny red lights, and promptly quits working. Gone is his sunny demeanor and pleasant disposition. Ricoh then turns into a raging beast that is not to be reckoned with. The only way for me to right him again is to perform emergency surgery. I must open the terrible beast and extract the poisonous contaminant that has compromised his system, thus resulting in the Jekyll/Hyde effect. Once inside, I must work quickly to locate and retrieve the toxin. Fortunately my Sharpe intuition, dexterity, and cougar like reflexes allow me to seek out the problem and avert disaster. Ricoh is himself once again and the office is narrowly saved from calamity.
Just another day in the life of Copy Girl.
