Niagara Falls, Rubber Gloves, and Birds

Hello again blog community. Please forgive my silence. It’s one of those things where I seemed to blink and then it was May. A whole month has flown by at supersonic speed since my last post. In the next few minutes I will attempt to succinctly recap my adventures over the last month.

I flooded the office.
So you know those relatively massive water jugs that fit into the common water cooler? (Offices are notorious for the gossip that proliferates from said structures.) I was blessed with the task of moving 7 of these monstrosities down the hall and into the kitchen. Little did I know that the cart I had chosen to move these babies had been compromised. I painstakingly loaded the cart and set off on my first trip down the cavernous hallway. Things were going swimmingly (a foreshadowing?) until it came time to turn the cart into the kitchen. Wouldn’t you know that on the turn, the cart tipped, catapulting the jugs onto the floor. One jug landed in such away that it punctured and out poured Niagara Falls. I was literally up to my ankles in water. Completely mortified, I hastily cleaned up and snuck back to my office praying that no one but my boss would be the wiser. Apparently the water had soaked into the carpet and anytime someone walked on it and trekked it across the newly waxed kitchen floor, disaster was not far behind. Several near calamities later, my boss taped a massive piece of cardboard over the spill and sent out an office wide email alerting everyone of the posed threat. So much for being subtle.



I discovered rubber gloves.
After a filing project that left the skin on my hands a shredded mess, I thought there must be some other way to get the job done without subjecting my poor hands to such torture. That’s when it hit me…gloves! I found a pair of bright, yellow rubber gloves under the sink. These ordinary dish washing gloves changed my life. The first time I used them I was like Speedy Gonzalez with those files. Not only do they protect my hands from vicious paper cuts, but they give me a better grip on the file folders. Hey, if you celebrate the small things, then the big things will be that much bigger.



I was attacked by a bird.
Indeed. The story I am about to share with you is alarming and traumatic not only because I was attacked by a bird but also because it was the second occurrence.
It was a bright, sunny afternoon in South Florida. I had just finished a lovely lunch with my dear cousin who was working a block away from my job. My belly was full and all seemed right with the world as I set out to enjoy the beautiful walk back to work. I was approaching a tree when my senses alerted me to the fact that something was amiss. Goose bumps arose on my flesh when I heard the terrible squawking and commotion in the tree that lay before me. My mind raced back to the time last year when I was attacked by a bird on the campus of Palm Beach Atlantic University. It was a frightening ordeal that left me with a keen disdain for birds. Planning to avoid another such confrontation, I quickly turned to cross the street and get out of dodge should the situation get ugly. Unfortunately I was not quick enough. No sooner had I stepped off of the curb when a beastly, maniacal black bird flew straight at me! It’s dry, straw like feathers brushed my arm sending shivers down my spine. On instinct, my lunch bag went up like a helicopter propeller and swatted at the angry beast as my legs took off in the other direction. The terror induced screams that escaped from my mouth sounded foreign to my ears. I finally made it back to my office building, willing my heart rate to slow down. I shudder at the thought of that horrible creature and wonder how many others have been a victim of his wrath. What did I ever do to offend the bird race? Be careful that this doesn't happen to you.