Typically when you think of an office job you think of a cushy position, in a comfortable office, sitting at a desk all day, right? I mean the last word you would think of to describe an office job would be "dangerous" am I right? I can think of an entire list of jobs that I could describe as dangerous but a normal 9 to 5 office job is not one I would put in that category. Well I guess that was until I landed this job. Allow me to educate you on the hazards of my job.
Physical Hazards
1. Oddly enough lugging 25, heavy, paper boxes full of documents back and forth takes a toll on the body. One particular instance I loaded the boxes onto a cart with wheels and by the time I had delivered them to their final destination I looked like I had just competed in a triathlon. I am telling you, pit stains are not attractive. My hair was matted to my scalp and my make up was making a fast exit south. I went hastily to the bathroom to try and salvage what little dignity remained. Wouldn't you know that the minute I returned I was met with, "Oh by the way I changed my mind and I would like the boxes to be put back in their original spot." "Dear Lord help me before I scream bloody murder!!" And He did. Needless to say I woke up the next morning feeling like I had just gone Venus and Serena all over the tennis court.
2. To say I handle paper at this job would be an understatement. I mean I am all over it like a... (*blush*)I'll let you fill in an appropriate analogy. If the trees found out about the copious amounts of paper that inundates this office, we'd be looking at World War Tree (I couldn't resist). The following scenario is practically an everyday occurrence: Here I am rifling through the stacks upon stacks of paper I must copy, file, or shred. All of a sudden the sterling white is blemished by a deep red spot. "What on earth?" I think to my self. I go back a few pages and realize that they too are blemished. It is then that I realize the deep red spots look like blood! I drop the papers in hand and turn my fingers every which way until I find the source of this drippage. Ahh. It's a nasty one. Oh well. If it is only paper cut #79 then I consider it a good day. "Paper, you have outwitted me this time but alas, tomorrow I'll be wearing gloves."
3. Standing at the copy machine for approximately 6 1/2 hours at a time. Definitely a hazard.
Mental/Emotional Hazards
1. I probably enjoy the most exciting tasks in the office. And by exciting I mean brain cell killing, mind numbing, and dizzyingly boring. Most of my projects involve a repetitive action. That may sound easy but after several hours of doing the same motion your brain does in fact shut down. When this happens your body goes on auto pilot and left to it's own vices it's not pretty. Symptoms include glossy eyes, vacant expression, and mouth frozen with lips parted slightly.
2. Unbeknownst to many, an office job can take a toll on your emotions. One day I was filling in for the receptionist and as such, I had to man the phones. I heard that familiar chirp, picked up the receiver, and gave our friendly greeting. My friendly greeting was met with an angry snarl. The lady on the other end demanded that I put her through to extension 123. Knowing that our extensions only spanned the 400's, but wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt, I kindly told her I would check to see if we had that extension. Apparently the time it took me to lift my eyes to the paper and open my mouth was an eternity to this person because she proceeded to unleash a slew of ugly verbiage. Not only did she attack my intelligence but she attacked my character as well. I said all of two sentences to this Venom Lady and yet she felt it necessary to abuse me with her words. She then had the nerve to hang up on me! God Bless her. I sat there stunned and shaking for a few minutes. Wow. Who knew that answering the phone was so offensive? Then I thought, I need to pray for Venom Lady. Who knows what may be going on in her life? She may just need a hug.
